Start paying attention to your most important daily conversation – the conversation with yourself. Your thoughts are like a maze, leading you to believe in yourself or doubt yourself. It’s imperative to realise how powerful your inner voice is. Understanding and controlling your self-talk makes your state of mind calmer and happier, no matter what life throws at you.
Starting this journey of purposefully changing your mindset can trigger deep and meaningful changes within yourself. Let’s explore how to control and master the conversation in your mind.
The Theatre of the Mind: Understanding Self-Talk
Imagine your mind as a big movie theatre. The lead roles aren’t only played by events happening around you but are also influenced by how you view yourself and what you believe about yourself. Every day, your thoughts put on a complex dance, creating stories that can show up in the real world negatively or positively.
Is the leading voice in your head a supportive coach cheering you on? Or is it more like a harsh critic, always finding fault with everything you do? The stories you tell yourself, often without even realising it, become a part of who you are, shaping your life more than you may realise.
The Overarching Influence of Thought Patterns
The words you use have a hidden power that can change how you view yourself and, as a result, your world. Is it a coincidence that the word spelling is spell…ing?
What you repeatedly tell yourself becomes ingrained, like a spell, shaping your self-esteem and behaviour with others. Understanding this mindset is the starting point for self-awareness and positive change.
When you make a mistake, do you tell yourself, ‘I can’t do anything right’, or do you reflect, ‘I am human. What can I learn from this so I do it differently next time? This isn’t just swapping words around; it’s a trigger for a significant change in perspective that encourages self-kindness and development.
Turning the Tide on Negative Self-Talk
Many people fall into the trap of constantly criticising themselves, often without even realising it. It’s important to understand that learning to replace self-criticism with self-confidence is a skill that can be learned. Each negative thought presents a chance to change your perspective and tell yourself a different story.
For example, consider changing these thoughts: “I’m nobody.” → “I am alive. Therefore, I am worthy” “I’m such an idiot.” → “I’m human. I’ll do better next time.”
To stop this cycle of negative self-talk, it is crucial to gently question whether these negative thoughts are genuinely accurate. More often than not, you’ll find that these self-deprecating remarks are only opinions, lack truth and only serve to hold you back.
Integrating Awareness into Self-Talk
Awareness is simply observing what’s happening right now without any judgment. Incorporating this aspect into your self-talk is like having a neutral third party examine your thoughts without preconceived notions. Are your thoughts stuck in the past, dwelling on old hurts, or are they focused on the future, filled with worry about what might happen?
By closely examining your thoughts with awareness, you allow yourself an understanding of the effects your thought patterns can have on your life and surroundings. This objective inspection helps you develop a way of talking to yourself centred on the present moment, free from past regrets or future fears.
The Link Between Self-Talk and Emotional Wellbeing
The way you talk to yourself affects your mood. If you often have negative thoughts, you will likely feel down. On the other hand, if your self-talk is primarily positive, you’ll likely feel happy and more content. It’s essential to understand this connection for your emotional health. By choosing your thoughts carefully, you better manage your feelings. Each word you think or say to yourself can lead you towards a life filled with inner calm or turbulent mind loops.
The Ripple Effect: Self-Talk and Relationships
The way you talk to yourself in your mind has a significant impact on your relationships. If you’re constantly criticising yourself, you may find it hard to be kind and supportive to others. When you are kinder to yourself with your self-talk, you build the basis for more satisfying and fulfilling relationships.
As you improve how you see yourself, you also change how you interact with the people around you, becoming more understanding and empathetic. This positive change can make you feel better about yourself and improve the spaces you are part of, sparking positive changes.
The Daily Practice of Silence
In the hustle and bustle of daily life, take some time for quiet. We do not give ourselves the time to make use of our most valuable tool in life. SILENCE!
While thoughts will still come and go, we can observe without reacting. Take a break. Be still and silent. The benefits of this simple, essential exercise are extremely powerful when practised for 20 minutes or so daily. This is not meditating or visualising but simply being still. Similar to when we played ‘freeze’ as a child.
The Paradisiacal Destination of Self-Love
Self-talk can be a journey to self-love or a maze of doubt and despair. This journey doesn’t have an endpoint; it’s an ongoing process of learning and growing.
As you become more self-aware, understand that the dialogue with yourself never ends. Engage in it with kindness, intention, and the strong willpower to design a life solely influenced by your voice. You can change your inner thoughts at any moment and create a happier you.
Positive self-talk isn’t just about adding good words to your daily language; it’s a lifestyle. Every word you pick, every thought you write down, is an integral part of your life’s canvas. Make sure it reflects the vibrant shades of positivity, resilience, and an unwavering faith in yourself.
Tee Cooper is a Holistic Counsellor based in Sydney. Her specialty is discovering the root cause of your issue and working with you to reach your vision. www.teecooper.com
